Life Traps: Recognize Your Life’s Trauma Traps!

Every human being without realizing it has psychological traps that are formed from various factors. This trap is usually born from wrong values ​​or thinking systems in viewing oneself and the surrounding environment. Apart from that, inappropriate parenting patterns in childhood and treatment from the people closest to them also shape it. The trap referred to here is none other than trauma, or what is often referred to as The Trap of Life.

The Trap of Life is a series of processes formed as a result of traumatic experiences in childhood, including overprotective parenting, excessive criticism, comparison with other people, bullying, and excessive pampering of children. Basically, these unpleasant events arise when a person’s belief system is still in the formative stage belief system.

Over time, without realizing it, this mental trap persists into adulthood and often feels like they are in a similar situation even though the context and time are very different. This happens because the subconscious mind tries to prevent bad experiences from happening again through defense mechanisms, which in the end actually hinders a person’s ability to take action.

Also Read: Breaking the Chain of Family Trauma

In a review Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko, two cognitive therapists from America, have identified 11 The Trap of Life commonly encountered based on their practical experience.

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The following is a review of Life Trap which can interfere with daily life activities.

1. Abandonment

The state of a person’s feelings due to being abandoned or ignored by the people closest to him, which then results in feelings of self-pity, loneliness and deep sorrow. This happens because of the lack of attention and sense of protection from the immediate environment. The impact of this psychologically traumatic experience is that a person will be filled with feelings of neglect, because they feel they do not deserve attention.

This happens because they don’t want to experience feelings of abandonment again, in this situation, they are actually attracted to partners or individuals who deliberately ignore or leave them.

2. Abuse of Distrust

The state of a person’s feelings due to excessive suspicion due to concerns that other people will treat him unfavorably to gain personal gain. This psychological trap arises from often receiving empty promises or dishonesty that parents never fulfill.

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This condition creates feelings of suspicion, excessive anxiety and great fear, because the people closest to them cannot be relied on. This creates a strong urge to protect oneself or avoid possible disappointment in the future.

3. Dependency

A person’s emotional state due to dependence on others and loss of ability to make choices. This psychological trap is caused by the attitude of adults who are too authoritarian, where this attitude creates dependency in life.

When entering adulthood, the behavior that emerges is excessive worry about mistakes, obstacles in building an independent life, and a tendency to help other people.

4. Vulnerability

The state of a person’s feelings because they feel they are in a wrong and painful situation, feel themselves living in a world filled with violence and suffering.

This psychological trap is triggered by past environmental influences which often provide trauma through threats or scary stories about dangers outside the home environment, which ultimately results in doubt and fear of leaving one’s comfort zone. When entering adulthood, the behavior that emerges is excessive anxiety, instead of enjoying every precious moment that one should be able to experience in the journey of life.

5. Emotional Deprivation

The state of a person’s feelings because they feel neglected and do not receive attention from their environment. This psychological trap is triggered by a lack of emotional warmth, attention and affection from the family. This condition makes a person believe that they are worthless, as a form of resistance they tend to ignore other people, and are hungry for attention to fulfill their emotional needs.

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When entering adulthood, the behavior that emerges is often changing partners, friends, or jobs as a way to feel happiness and get attention that they have never received.

6. Social Exclusion

The state of a person’s feelings due to being isolated in their social environment, and receiving ridicule and negative views from their environment.

This psychological trap is triggered by being isolated from the environment because he thinks there is something odd or unusual about him. This kind of unequal treatment then drives a person to become a loner, close himself off, and be reluctant to form relationships with other people, especially new people.

7. Disability

The state of a person’s feelings because they feel imperfect and tend to blame themselves. This psychological trap is triggered by the many criticisms received since childhood, where no one appreciates the efforts or achievements that have been achieved.

Some people view failure as the end point of everything, but someone with a growth mindset will view failure as a new opportunity to achieve their goals.

8. Failure

The state of a person’s feelings due to experiencing fear of failure, and considering himself to be the most unlucky person.

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This psychological trap is triggered by the inability to achieve or obtain the desired things. When entering adulthood, the behavior that emerges is being trapped in a lifestyle that tends to exaggerate every failure experienced.

9. Conquest

The state of a person’s feelings because they experience a tendency to follow the expectations and demands of other parties to provide satisfaction by ignoring their own needs.

This psychological trap is triggered by the experience of excessive pressure from parental authority figures, the consequences and implications of which have a controlling tendency in the environment to make everyone obey him.

10. Relentless standards

The state of a person’s feelings due to experiencing internal pressure to achieve excellence in established criteria, which is manifested in the form of high targets and achievements as well as demands for consistency in achieving achievements.

This psychological trap is triggered by excessive pressure to achieve optimal performance and top positions, so it tends to sacrifice fundamental aspects such as physical condition, personal well-being and satisfaction.

Someone who is trapped in this pattern has an excessive tendency towards career achievement and lacks empathy. When entering adulthood, the behavior that emerges is a competitive nature to reach the top position in any matter, even though subjectively they have never achieved anything.

11. Rights

The state of a person’s feelings because he feels entitled to get everything he wants without considering other factors.

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This psychological trap is triggered by an existence that is rooted in a permissive upbringing from a family that tends to fulfill all its desires without limits, which ultimately results in a person who is egocentric and has difficulty controlling himself.

So that’s the review of 11 Life Traps according to two cognitive therapists Jeffrey E. Young and Janet S. Klosko, whatever condition they are in can come from experiences they have had in the past which will affect their life into adulthood. Because these traps are not just born, therefore a person’s personality and behavior can also be influenced by these life traps.

Writer: The BA
Editor: Rara Zarary

Source:

Young, Jeffrey E., et al. Reinventing Your Life: The Best-Selling Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior and Feel Great.

Young, Jeffrey E., et al. Schema Therapy: A Practitioner’s Guide.